Perhaps one of the biggest shortcomings of humans, especially as it pertains to making healthy choices and living a healthy lifestyle that improves your healthspan and lifespan, is something called the “complexity bias.” As humans, we’re naturally drawn to complex ideas and systems. And this bias means we’re more likely to overanalyze and overthink, which can lead to overcomplicating ev-ery-thing.
Not only is it unnecessary, but this desire to overcomplicate can dramatically influence the number on your scale, the dieting protocols you’re drawn to, your inner self-talk (which can lead to a lack of self-trust), emotional reasoning, and even the questions you ask yourself.
In other words, the natural inclination to overcomplicate makes you unhealthier – and not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
If you keep reading, you’ll discover the esoteric secrets of NLP (neurolinguistic programming), the lost science of asking yourself better questions, and how better questions allow you to shift states and don a new identity.
Don’t worry if none of this makes much sense yet. It will. And as you’ll see, it tackles the “complexity bias” problem of your own health and wellness in a way that’s permanent and lasts over the long haul (which is something you can’t say about most mindset shifts, dieting protocols, or biohacks).
Everyone Knows “How” to be Healthier – So Why is Everyone so Unhealthy?
Ask any person on the street about the key to living healthier, and seemingly everyone already knows “how” to be healthy:
- Eat fewer calories than your body burns
- Avoid smoking, drinking, and drugs
- Exercise consistently
- Eat a healthy, balanced diet mostly filled with whole foods
- Get adequate sleep each night
- Drink enough water to stay hydrated
- Reduce stress in healthy ways
The list could go on and on and include only the simplest of strategies that everybody already knows.
Why then, do most people struggle with the implementation of this simple list?
Well, for starters, this is where the complexity bias rears its ugly head. This list seems too simple to work (even though the vast majority of people will get unrecognizably healthier by simply following each item on the list).
But if we dig a bit deeper, another problem emerges: Some kind of emotional block.
Maybe you “know” to eat fewer calories than your body burns… but after a long, stress-filled day, the Big Mac is calling your name.
Maybe you “know” how important exercise is for your longevity… but, deep down, you know you were never an athlete and so whenever you think about going to the gym, you’re crushed by a wave of imposter syndrome.
Maybe you “know” that sleep is the single best thing you can do for your health… but your mind races with anxious thoughts as soon as your head hits the pillow, leaving you unable to fall asleep for hours after you first laid down.
In each of these examples, “knowing” isn’t enough to “do.” In fact, “knowing” can even make it worse because then you start berating yourself and asking disempowering questions to yourself like, “why can’t I just fall asleep? You know how important it is – especially because I have to give that big presentation tomorrow, UGH! Why can’t I just fall asleep and give myself a break from myself?”
This isn’t a know-how or logical problem… it’s an emotional one. The funny thing about emotions is that they don’t care much about logic. Logic and emotions are, in many ways, natural enemies.
But your emotions are what make you human (even when they fight against your goals).
And that’s what we’re diving into in this article – the emotional side of healthy living that gets overlooked and disregarded even though everything you want from life is on the other side of fixing your “inner world.”
How NLP Reprograms Your Inner, Emotional World
Books like The Secret by Rhonda Byrne made the idea of the law of attraction popular. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, the law of attraction claims that your external reality is directly controlled by your thoughts and feelings, or your “inner world.”
The law of attraction idea has both supporters and detractors. The supporters tend to overinflate the impact thoughts and feelings have on the external world. The detractors give it no credence and claim its pseudoscience.
But, as with many things in life, the answer falls somewhere in the middle.
Let me explain with an example:
Right now, wherever you’re reading this, I want you to think of the color red as you focus on this sentence for a few moments. Now, with the color red hot on your mind, look at your surroundings, and I’m positive you’ll notice far more red things than you otherwise would’ve noticed. If you’re an overachiever, try to do this with another color next.
This simple test tells us that our thoughts and feelings have at least some impact over our external reality.
But here’s the problem:
When’s the last time you sat with your unfiltered thoughts and feelings for any significant amount of time?
This is a lost art in today’s fast-paced, short-attention-span-optimized life. You carry a device that offers you an infinite number of distractions in your purse or pocket every single day. Whenever a tough feeling or thought pops up in your body or mind, you’re an arm’s reach away from a literal infinite number of distractions – just from ONE app.
In other words, we’ve never been more out-of-touch with our true thoughts and feelings than we are in modern life. And so, what happens with most people is they simply don’t realize how their emotions sabotage their goals. Remember, emotions and logic are natural enemies – and trying to “logic” your way to a healthier life almost always falls flat.
That’s where NLP can be an immensely helpful tool on your health journey.
In short, NLP is a way to reprogram your mind. It helps you uncover mental traps you’re subconsciously (and sometimes, unconsciously) falling into without realizing – or, in other words, it helps you understand how your mind currently works. Then, after figuring out how your subconscious and unconscious mind control behavior, NLP offers you a way to reprogram your mind, your emotions, and your inner world to align with your goals.
This might sound complicated now… but it’s easier than you think, so don’t let that complexity bias in! In fact, it’s as simple as asking yourself better questions.
The Lost Science of Asking Yourself Better Questions
First, let’s define what I mean by better questions: Your emotions have two ways to ask questions, and two ways only. One way is to ask a disempowering question like the aforementioned, “why can’t I just fall asleep?”
The other way is to ask empowering questions.
Let’s look at a few common disempowering questions I hear from my private clients… and better yet, show you how to turn them into the empowering version of the same question:
- Shift from: “why can’t I lose weight?” to “what would be nutritious and delicious and anti-inflammatory?”
- Shift from: “why don’t I have motivation to workout?” to “what exercise can I spend 5 minutes doing that will make me stronger tomorrow?”
- Shift from: “why can’t I fall asleep?” to “what do I need to do during the day to make sleep automatic?”
- Shift from: “why can’t I use my time wisely?” to “how can I be even more purposeful with my time?” or “how can I bring my gifts to the world?” or “how can I be more aware of my family’s needs?”
This is just the tip of the iceberg. But for every disempowering question you ask yourself, there’s an empowering version of the same question.
In the next section, we’ll examine why shifting from disempowering questions to empowering questions changes your state, which is crucial because…
All Behavior is State-Dependent
A subtle, yet magical mindset shift happens when you go from disempowering questions to empowering ones.
When you’re in an empowered state, healthy behavior follows without effort or willpower.
But the reverse is true:
When you’re in a disempowered state, unhealthy behavior follows no matter how much effort or willpower you have!
So, for example, if you’ve been struggling to lose weight and keep it off, you’re in a disempowered state in some way. The cause of a specific disempowered state differs for everyone – but it starts with asking yourself better questions.
When your state changes, your literal identity shifts.
For example, let’s say you’ve been avoiding the gym because you’re not an “athlete” and don’t want to feel the wave of imposter syndrome. Well, when your identity shifts, you are now an “athlete” to your inner world, and your imposter syndrome dissipates naturally as a consequence.
This applies to every aspect of your health and wellness because your underlying beliefs (many of which aren’t even “from” you but that’s a story for another day) come from your identity. And with consistent practice, you can turn this into a habit that happens without your direct input or intention.
To help you even further, below are some of my favorite mindset shifts that help you segue from a disempowered state to an empowered one:
- There is no failure, only feedback.
- Successful people fail forward.
- Something isn’t just possible, but possible to me.
- There are no unresourceful people, just unresourceful states.
- I’m not just committed, I’m committed to excellence.
There are several more examples, but this gives you a good start on embodying an empowering state.
Which brings me to a question…
Where are you feeling disempowered right now in your own life?
I ask because I can help you when you sign up for “The Resilience Advantage: A Powerful Heartmath Program.” What’s Heartmath? It’s a little-known technique taught to Navy SEALs, first responders, teachers, CEOs, and elite athletes so they can perform more effectively under pressure and shift from a disempowering state to an empowering one.
“The Resilience Advantage” package combines the esoteric training of Heartmath with NLP to not only help you shift into an empowering state, but to help you enjoy the rest of your years from this empowering state.
If you’re struggling in ANY area of your life… whether your physical health, mental wellness, or are battling against sleeplessness, anxiety, or burnout… and you want a technique to increase your energy, your resilience, and your decision-making, then, well, there are few things that can be more helpful than “The Resilience Advantage.”
Learn more about The Resilience Advantage and sign up for the 4-week program here.
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